Tuesday, November 02, 2004

Warning: Racy Content, Including Frequent Use of the Word 'Tit'

To further clarify, I'm not using the word 'tit.' Personally.

Like all of you, I get spam. And, also like all of you, some of it is rather nasty. Actually, it's less nasty than it is totally laughable, like a rutting elk somehow learned to type and is sending out e-mail at random.

As an example, here's an e-mail I received today, from a Mr. Gigantic Tits. The subject of this e-mail was "Are you a tit man? TitVision has the sexiest big-titted babes!"

That's the problem with Internet pornography--the advertising is so subtle. Perhaps customer feedback could improve the quality of their marketing.

Mr. G. Tits,
What is your point, exactly? I have no idea why I should be interested in your product. What is the focus of your site? Sir, I recommend that if you'd like to increase your profitability in the future, give me a clearer idea of your site's specialty. I can't be expected to spend my valuable time trying to decipher your vaguely-worded communications.


Good day, sir.

Sincerely,
Admiral Dan Sinking
Rearguard Communications

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