Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Ask Dr. Eli

Gloria took Eli 3.5 to the doctor today for a chunky cough he'd developed.

Eli is a chameleon.
1. Any of various tropical Old World lizards of the family Chamaeleonidae, characterized by their ability to change color.

[please accept my apologies. Fact-checker Stephanie Assham-Dubious is on vacation at an island mathematical resort, the Lesser Than Antilles, and is being temporarily replaced by our new intern, Impeccable Q. Woofs. Eli 3.5 is not, in fact, a lizard.]

On trash day, Eli becomes a garbage man. When he's watching the Rose Bowl Parade, he becomes a float. So it should come as no surprise that when he visits the doctor, he becomes one. DQ Special Correspondent Gloria likes to play this game because it steers him away from the Global Pandemic Play Set in the waiting area.

"I must examine you," Eli says. "So, what is going on with you today?"
"Doctor, my leg has turned green," Gloria says.
"I can't help you with that," he says.
"Oh no! You can't do anything at all?" Gloria asks.
"Okay, let me look in the book." Eli picks up a book from a nearby table and starts thumbing through it. "Hmm...let me see...You need to drink lots of water. Also, you need to drink Tylenol every day."
"Thank you, Doctor," Gloria says. "Also, my head is hurting."
"Stop shaking it," Eli says. "And you need to stop sucking your thumb."

One additional, shocking discovery during the examination involved a finger that needed to be reattached. It was, successfully.

Site Meter