Everybody Run--Betty Crocker's Got a Gun
I went to the grocery store today for a chicken breast.Cooked.
I've been working on my column leads. I think it's going well.
I'm in line at the checkout and somebody behind me slams down two items on the conveyor belt. I mean SLAMS. I turn around and it's a young guy, maybe twenty, talking on his cell phone.
"Yeah, I left," he says. "Why? Because everybody pissed me off, man. I am so pissed off right now. I swear the next guy that pisses me off, I'm going to bust a cap in his ass."
So immediately I ask myself the only logical question in this situation: what does a guy who's about to bust a cap in somebody's ass buy at the grocery store?
A bag of chocolate chips and a can of Crisco shortening.
Dude, you aren't busting a cap in anybody's ass. You're BAKING COOKIES.
I didn't say that to him, of course. I didn't want him to bust a cap in my ass.
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