Monday, April 04, 2005

Livin' on Tivo Time

Tivo is great. I can't imagine being without one, and Gloria likes it even more than I do.

My favorite feature is being able to start watching a recording from the beginning while it continues to record. So I could start watching a sporting event an hour late, skip the commercials, and "catch up" to the live program by the end of the game.

If I can't do that, I just tape the game and watch it later. This particularly comes in handy now, when Eli 3.7's is in full, non-stop energy mode. I have exactly zero chance of watching anything in peace, or even anything short of full-on riot mode.

Tivo does have side effects, though. One of the most unfortunate is that you begin having conversations that belong in a 'B' science fiction movie.

Let me give you an example.

Saturday evening, the phone rings. We've just gotten home from a park outing and dinner, and the first NCAA semifinal has been recorded on the Tivo and is ready to go. I've successfully managed to avoid any information about the outcome of the game. It still hasn't happened, as far as I'm concerned.

Some of my friends used to call during the games to chat about what's going on. It was always a prototypical guy's conversation:
"Did you see that?"
"What a slam!" I'd say.
"Later."

Now they call with tidbits. They're not going to come right out and say who won the game, but they'll say "I'm not going to say anything, but..." and then proceed to do everything but give me the final score.

This time, we don't answer the phone, and I hear my friend Mark's voice leaving a message. He says "I don't know if you've already seen this, but when Carolina---"

"He has foreknowledge!" I shouted. "Erase him!"

"I just want to see if he mentions--" Gloria started to say.

"Erase him! He must be erased!" I'm crazed. I'm one step way from yelling 'Soylent Green is people!'

It could be worse. I could be saying things from Logan's Run.

Site Meter