Monday, September 12, 2005

The OSGFL: On-Screen Graphic Football League

This is what it’s like to watch football in America in 2005.

I was watching an NFL game yesterday in high-definition. On the FOX screen-wide, undocked scoreboard banner at the top of the screen, it says “3rd and 7.” As both teams line up, a gigantic, colored arrow appears just below the offensive line, and it says “3RD AND 7.” This isn’t some tiny little graphic—its onscreen size is bigger than the offensive and defensive lines combined.

The ball is snapped and the huge arrow is still there (incredibly, it lingers even after the ball is snapped). Then I hear the announcer saying “It’s third and seven.”

Thank goodness. Believe me, what I was thinking at that very moment was damn-I wonder what down it is.

High-definition television is fantastic for football. Too bad nobody is willing to show us the game. Ten years from now we’ll have a full-screen display of scrolling scoreboards, arrows, fantasy league stats, and advertisements that will totally block what’s actually happening on the field. Then everyone at the networks will celebrate—“Gentlemen, today we finally blocked the last visible bit of football that appeared on the screen. Congratulations!”

And there was great rejoicing.

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