Monday, November 27, 2006

Straight From the Van

From a DQ reader who wishes to remain anonymous (this time):
Would you believe that my father actually bought speakers from a guy with a van?

I was at my younger brother's house and he had these giant towering speakers, nearly 5 feet tall each in the corner of his bedroom, but they looked like toys. Even from across the room, you could tell there was something incredibly lacking about them. Perhaps it was that the wood looked as if it had been spray painted just a few days ago, or perhaps the chrome -- yes, chrome -- was chipping. Or maybe it was the "Infinium" logo near the top of each speaker. It was askew, of course. And come to think of it, the speaker covers looked like taughtly-pulled pantyhose, albeit black.

"Where the hell did you get those?" I asked my brother.
"Dad bought them from some guy on the street and he gave them to me because the sound quality sucks. I don't know what to do with them, the garbage men won't take them."
"Well, duh, the speaker brand is really Infinity, not Infinium. How much did dad pay for them?"
"He wouldn't tell me. He was too embarrassed. He just told me to get rid of them."

Later on that week, I went by my father's house to visit.
"Did Dan show you those speakers I gave him? Yeah, they go for two grand but I know a guy and he gave them to me for $400."
Trying to hide the ever-widening smirk on my face, "Wow. That's some deal. I bet Dan is psyched."

Welcome to my family.

Here's another story--a classic-- from Mark Vidov:
I'm Canadian but I went to school in Boston for a couple years. One day a young guy approached me saying he had a nice set of speakers he had to sell. He seemed just shady enough for me not to ask where he got them but not shady enough for me to think he was totally scamming me. He waved and a van pulled over. I checked them out. They were huge. I had flashbacks to the seventies and my older cousins with their decked out stereo systems. Of course I bought them.

Some time later my apartment in Boston was robbed. The place was cleaned out. They obviously made a number of trips up and down three flights of stairs. The only things left were my futon, a Technics turntable and those speakers.

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