Wednesday, April 04, 2007

The Tutor

Gloria was studying for her Spanish class last night.

I walked into her study and she was frowning as she looked at her Spanish textbook.

"What's up?" I asked.

"I can speak simple phrases fairly well now," she said, "but verb tense is just impossible. It's very confusing."

"I know about Spanish verb tenses," I said.

"Ha!" she laughed. "You don't speak any Spanish."

"No," I said, "but I know about verb tenses. I grew up in South Texas, remember?"

"There's no chance this could possibly be true, is there?" she asked.

"Well, you need help and it's too late to call anyone else," I said. "Spin the wheel."

"All right," she sighed. "Take a look at this." She showed me a page of complete gibberish. "What tense is that?"

"I'm a little rusty," I said, "but I know it's either past perfect subliminal or future vestigial."

"You don't really know anything about Spanish or verb tenses, do you?" she asked.

"Absolutely nothing," I said. "Buenos noches."

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