Eli 5.9 Weighs InThree Eli stories today, all at least a few days old.
Last week, Eli was trying to catch a bug to put in a plastic container that he calls the "bug microscope" because it has a little magnifying glass. He went out on the deck, then came back in after about fifteen minutes.
"Did you catch a bug?" I asked.
"I got an ant," Eli said. "I wanted to catch a rolly-polly, but they were too fast and too skilled."
We watch a Nickelodeon show called Drake and Josh. We saw an episode where Josh (who is the lovable loser) asks a girl out for a hamburger, and she says 'I'm a vegetarian.' Josh winds up saying "I don't believe you!" after she also claims to be lactose intolerant.
Eli's watching this carefully, and he says "That is NOT the right way to ask a girl out on a date. You should say, very nicely, 'Please could I go out with you?' and if she says she's a vegetarian, you say 'Well, maybe we could just go have some lettuce.' "
This last story is from way back, when Eli had the rotavirus. If you're not a parent, by the way, just stop reading right now, because you're not ready for it.
The rotavirus, obviously, involves diarrhea, and lots of it. It's also not anything you can really control, because it just happens too quickly.
So after two days of diarrhea, throwing up, and going to the hospital in an ambulance (which I already told you about when it happened), Eli actually started adjusting to being sick. We were in the living room, watching a show, and he stood up from the couch. "Hey guys," he said, "does anyone mind if I drop my pants and check for diarrhea?"
"Knock yourself out," I said.
"Okay, thank you," he said.