Ivan The Fool, Now With Company
"Okay, how many letters does this have?" We're at Chili's for dinner, and while we wait for our food, we're all playing Hangman."Five," Eli 7.4 said. "Mom, guess a letter."
"E," Gloria said.
Eli wrote "e" at the bottom of the page and drew a head. "Okay, Dad, your turn," he said.
"BUTTS," I said.
"What?"
" 'BUTTS' is the word," I said.
"Butts!" Eli said, laughing. He started laughing, holding his stomach, then fell over in the booth. He laughed for ten seconds, then sat up. "Ah, good times," he said.
Later I almost pulled off a coup with "melon fresh," but the "o" was my undoing.
On the way home, a woman passed us in a sportscar, then wound up just ahead of us at a stoplight. Her license plate said "TLSTOY."
"Look at that,"I said to Gloria. "Was she so desperate to have 'TOLSTOY' as her license plate that she took that when she couldn't have the full version?"
Gloria started laughing. "I don't think anyone else would look at that and see 'Tolstoy' ," she said.
"Am I on the wrong planet again?" I asked.
"Without a doubt," she said.
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