Thursday, September 10, 2009

The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

At 6 a.m. this morning, I was drinking barium.

Oh, you think that's the bad day in the post title? Oh, no. That was yesterday.

I realized over the last few days that the pain I've been feeling in my stomach feels suspiciously like the pain I had when I needed hernia surgery. This is WTF-FTL territory, for many reasons, but mostly because now that I can finally ride the damn unicycle, and it's gotten me in shape, I don't want to stop for a couple of months.

So yesterday, I decided to go to my primary physician for a check. I called at 11:30 AM and asked for an appointment. "Can you be here in 30 minutes?" said the lady who had her ass up her sleeve, and I clearly explained to her that I had another appointment at 1:00 that I could not miss. "No problem," she said. "Come on in."

I did, arriving at 11:50. Then I proceeded to sit for over 45 minutes. The doctor finally came in at 12:40, examined me like I was a 6 inch putt, and said I needed a CT scan to rule out both appendicitis and an inguinal hernia.

My physical therapist, who is far brighter and more useful than my doctor, said that it might just be general inflammation in my stomach causing nerve to send referral pain and blah blah blah.

So I'm doing the CT scan at 8 a.m. and having that delicious barium milkshake. It was banana flavored, which inevitably led me to remember the Gilligan's Island episode where he eats what he thinks is a bowl of banana pudding, but it's actually barium.

I'd like to think that's the reason barium is banana flavored. Professor!

This is how crazy it was yesterday: I picked up The Beatles: Rock Band and didn't even get to play it for over eight hours. That is so wrong.

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