Eli 9.2
Eli 9.2 is a big fan of Silly Bandz. A big, big, fan."Dad, look at this unicorn Silly Bandz," he said, extending his wrist. "Isn't it cool?"
"Yeah, that's cute," I said.
"Cute?" He said, outraged. "It's not CUTE. It's COOL!"
"It's a rainbow colored unicorn," I said. "That falls well inside any existing definition of 'cute'."
"You would think it was cool if you have it on YOUR wrist," he said.
***
Gloria was complaining about her weight, and Eli said, "Mom! You're thin as WHEAT!"
***
A girl at Eli's school apparently has a crush on him. The evidence, according to Eli: "She chases me around and tries to kill me. First sign of love."
***
I picked up Eli from school on Friday, and as we were walking out, we saw his third-grade teacher (Mrs. Grace) in front of us. Just then, we heard an announcement: "A white SUV is blocking the carpool lane. Please move your car immediately."
"Eli, were you driving that car?" Mrs. Grace asked, laughing.
"I'm not saying YES, but I'm not saying NO," he said.
***
This last one, obviously, isn't an Eli story.
Gloria walked up to me today and said, "I had a dream last night that I was rollerblading across a college campus, trying to find my class."
"Were you rollerblading naked?" I asked.
"No," she said.
"NOT INTERESTED," I said.
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