I Don't Know If You Want To Ride That"There's going to be an elephant ride at the Family Event," Eli 9.8 said, talking about an event at his school.
"Really?" I asked. "I thought elephant rides were going out of style."
"I guess not," he said. "Are they dangerous?"
"If the elephant is pissed off, yes they are," I said. "Elephants are very smart and relatively awesome, though, so that doesn't happen very often."
"Well, I don't know if I want to ride one or not," he said.
"It's certainly not the most dangerous thing you can do with an animal," I said. "There was quite a long period of time before people understood what was safe and what wasn't."
"Here we go," Gloria said.
"For instance," I continued, "early on, the 'brush the lion's teeth' attraction ended in disaster."
All kidding aside (and I only wish I had said "floss", which was funnier), WTF are people still riding elephants for, anyway? Does the elephant like that? Do we want to piss off elephants? Put me firmly in the "no" camp on that. There must be some kind of elephant retirement home (hey, right here) where they could just hang out together.
Anyway, as it turned out, there was (allegedly) some kind of "incident" at the previous event the elephant attended, so when we got to Eli's school, we saw--a camel.
Those bastards spit, you know.