Monday, September 10, 2018

Castle (F.O.B, Moat not Included)

This is an actual thing:

Not only is it an actual thing, it's an actual thing fifteen minutes from where I live. 

A monstrosity? Yes. An eyesore? Certainly. None of that matters, though, because it's a castle. An apartment complex that's a castle. Well, sort of an "inspired by castles" castle.

It gets better. 

A few details:
One fountain, near the building's entranceway, is expected to be topped with a large, glowing flame. 

The other fountain is expected to be 20-feet tall, carved from marble.

Work is underway on a library, complete with a two-sided staircase, which, according to developer Roger Lucas, is modeled after one found in the Walt Disney classic film Beauty and the Beast.

There are plans for an 8-foot digital cuckoo clock.

A life-size lion statue is expected to be mounted atop the peak of the castle, just shy of 200 feet. 

That all pales, though, in comparison to this bit of magnificence:
Lucas also wants to build a stable on the grounds that would house miniature horses.

Boom. My #1 Most Wanted Feature In An Apartment Complex.

"It sounds like a six-year-old inherited $100 million and decided to build a castle," Gloria said.

"I think you nailed it," I said. "I'm just waiting for the announcement of a roller coaster that will wind through the building at 60 MPH, because if that happens, we're moving."

If you're wondering about the target demographic of a castle builder, I've got you covered. Here's developer Roger Lucas:
I think there's a huge selling thing here, and the huge selling thing is that girls want to be a princess and guys, well - the power thing.

Greetings from the future, sir, as I assume you're writing us from 1955.

All is not well, though, which I'm sure will leave you stunned and disheartened:
Construction on the castle started in June 2016, with the initial opening date set for last summer. But that opening date has been pushed back multiple times, most recently to mid- to-late October.

The delays, in part, were caused by the expansion of the project. Initial plans called for 400 units but was later expanded to include 522 units, Lucas said.

"When you add 120 units, it takes a few minutes longer," he said.

I'll take your word for it, developer Roger Lucas, as I trust your particular form of madness. 

I will keep everyone updated on this delightful story.

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