Wednesday, November 21, 2018

Threatin: Spinal Tap In Real Life

Oh , yeah. This deserves its own day.

A rock band named "Threatin" set up a European tour, which didn't seem unreasonable to do for a band with 20,000+ Facebook likes and thousands of positive comments on their music videos.

The band is fronted by Jered Threatin, whose primarily talent appears to be his hair. Don't take my word for it, though--please enjoy what would be an excellent parody video: Threatin - Living is Dying (Official Music Video). Yes, that's Jered playing all four instruments and singing.

Wow, that's bad.

Still, though, they had fans, and plenty of terrible bands (hello, Nickelback! Also, counting down until the one "Nickelback isn't that bad" email comes in.) have been incredibly successful, so good for them.

Threatin recruited three band members for the tour. They rehearsed for a few weeks. And then it started to get weird.

The band members pay for the  weeks-long European tour was $300. Plus expenses. Only it turns out that the $300 WAS for the expenses.

Oh, and this little note: no one showed up to watched them play.

All right, technically, not no one. Two people at one venue. Three in another. Five.

This in spite of claims that hundreds of people would be at each venue (at a minimum), and that tickets were "selling out" for some shows.

Next, the great unraveling, in which it's revealed that Jered Threatin' bought all the Facebook likes and Youtube comments, and created imaginary versions of the following:
--booking company
--record label
--press outlet
--web design company
--music award (he won it, obviously)

There's also evidence that he's been slowly building this gigantic, bad rock apparatus of deception for at least two years.

Here are a few articles:
1. Please enjoy the story of Threatin, an internet-famous band touring in empty venues
2. Rock band Threatin promised to bring hundreds of fans with them to Manchester - two people turned up
3. More Threatin Details: There's Also a Fake Label, Press Outlet, Award, Web Design Company, Wiki Page, and More. Ex-Drummer Shares a Statement
4. Ex-Threatin Guitarist Shares Statement for UG, Reveals Details About the Tour and How He Started Playing With Jered

Wow. Seriously, every word of all four of those links is fantastic.

Now, I'm going to have an odd reaction about a guy who is clearly a narcissistic loony: I kind of identify with him. On a conceptual basis, at least.

Who doesn't have a little part of them that wants to be famous? We all do, really. This guy wanted to be famous so badly that he created this multi-layered imaginary world and expected it to create a real world.

Okay, it's stupid, but damn, that's inspired.

So, Mr. Jered Threatin, while you may be a shitty musician, an enormous fraud, and one of the worst music video producers in history (seriously, watch that damn clip), you dream big.

I kind of like that. Conceptually.

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