Tuesday, January 08, 2019

The Wizard Next Door

Here's how a good wizard moves in next door.

"I'm Tom. I'm your new neighbor! Oh, and I'm a wizard. I know, I know, but don't worry. I don't do any research at night, and I don't need a tower over fifty feet high, so no zoning issues. Plus, on Halloween, all the kids can come for a tour and have all the candy they can carry. Oh, and if you have a college-aged son or daughter, I'm looking for a summer intern. Great experience, looks fabulous on a resume. Well, the tower will be going up tomorrow, so please don't be alarmed. Really, it only takes about five minutes--just a summoning from a prefab tower dimension, so you'll hear a "POP" and it will be done."

You don't know a bad wizard is moving in next door until you hear an explosion, and when you walk outside you see a flaming cow carcass dropping from three hundred feet onto your lawn. With cheering.

[these are the kinds of things I think about, apparently, when I'm too sick to get out of bed.]

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