Baccalaureate
"How far do you think John Wilkes booth jumped?" I asked.
"What?" Gloria laughed.
"See that balcony to the right of the stage?" I asked. "I think that's about the distance that he jumped down to the stage."
"What on earth made you think of that?" she asked.
"I'm going to look that up," I said. "Now it's bothering me."
"Only you," she said.
"Look, I know it's baccalaureate," I said, "but we're talking about the assassination of our most revered President."
I looked at my phone.
"Twelve feet," I said. "He jumped twelve feet. Do you think that's twelve feet? I think it's more like fifteen."
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