Shots Fired--From a Gun
I am not muscular.
For one, I'm thin. 6'0", 160. Not a lot to work with.
For another, I kept getting hurt lifting weights, particularly my lower back.
However, I mentioned recently that I'd seen a study establishing that lifting weights every fifth day to failure (doing reps until you can't) still helped you build and retain strength.
This was a thing I could do, and it gave my body plenty of time to recover.
Since then, I've put on a little muscle. Let me rephrase that: I've put on little muscles. Not much, really, and maybe I'm the only one who can see them, but I'm probably stronger than I've been in ten years.
In short, I don't have many muscles, but that doesn't mean I can't talk a good game.
"When you go have dinner with your girlfriend, I want you to have her measure your bicep," I said.
"Wait, what?"
"My bicep is 12" now. I need to have the family standard to work toward. I can't get as big as you, but maybe I can narrow the gap a little. It will motivate me."
"I'll do that tonight," he said.
I received no text.
The next morning, I sent him this:
I guess your bicep measurement was 11 7'8 and you couldn't stand to send it.
Later, the phone rang.
"I just got your ridiculous text."
"Is it?" I asked.
"I didn't send you the measurement because we couldn't find the tape measure last night."
"That's exactly what a guy with an 11 7/8" bicep would say."
"I'll hang up," he said.
"I'm coming for you," I said. "Guns blazing." We were both laughing so hard at this point that we could hardly talk.
"Don't push me," he said. "I'm right there."
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