Monday, June 10, 2024

How Not to Be an Idiot With a Dumpster

I should have said how not to be an idiot because of a dumpster.

A dumpster is big. It seems infinite. This can trick you, because it is not, in fact, infinite. 

This means that instead of--hypothetically--just throwing crap in, you need to do a little planning. Garbage Tetris, if you will.

First, identify all the large items that you want to dispose of and move them in first. Use a dolly, either upright or the ground kind with wheels. You can move almost anything heavy with a dolly, and it takes strain off your back. 

You'll be moving lots of stuff. You want as little strain on your body for as long as possible. Trust me.

Once you've wheeled all the large items into the dumpster, you might not need to open the doors again. It's more fun to toss things over the side, anyway, as long as you don't hurt yourself.

Now, make an ice cream sandwich.

Toss in all the lightest stuff next. All of it. That creates a middle layer which can be compressed by the medium-size items you toss on top. Then you can just put the remaining smaller items into any gaps.

Even when a dumpster looks full, there's plenty of room for anything small. It's almost a bag of infinite holding. 

Always remember: if there's any doubt about weight, don't throw it over the side without consideration. Maybe one of those items won't hurt you, but twenty will. 

If you follow these steps, you might avoid a strained back, a bum knee, and a strained bicep. Oh, and a foot. There was a bad foot, too.

All on the mend now.

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