Thursday, July 22, 2004

Then There's This

MIAMI - Police in the Florida Keys are mystified by a bizarre new pastime — young people dangling themselves from meat hooks on a popular sandbar...They found that five young people had erected a bamboo tripod and hung meat hooks from it. A young woman, her feet brushing the surface of the shallow water, dangled from the frame, hooks embedded firmly in her shoulders....Lt. Tom Brazil of the Coast Guard said a young man, who also had hooks embedded in his heavily pierced and tattooed skin, told him the group was “just enjoying the afternoon.”...There were no laws against sticking meat hooks into yourself and hanging from a tripod on a sandbar, Brazil added, according to the newspaper.

I have never been able to keep up with what the cool kids are doing.

I'd like to publicly express my sympathy for Lieutenant Tom Brazil, whose training in the police academy could never have adequately prepared him for this. No laws against sticking meat hooks into yourself and hanging from a tripod on a sandbar? Are you sure? Did you check?

Please, Nintendo, please use these kids in a Game Boy Advance commercial. They're hanging on meat hooks, and sitting in the sand facing them is another kid, but instead of looking at them he's playing on a Game Boy Advance. Then he says "Just one more level."

EA Sports also has an opportunity for an Extreme Sports title. Show the kids hanging on meat hooks, but all of them are playing on their Game Boy Advance at the same time. Zoom in behind one kid's shoulder, and on the GBA screen you can see a cartoon kid hanging on a meat hook. Fade out and you hear "EA Sports: If it's in the Game, it's in the Game!" 

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