The 'Vase'
Two weeks ago, I walked in and saw something new on the kitchen table. It was towering and cylindrical."Don't move," I said, strafing to my right to intercept Gloria, who was standing by the sink. "Have you done anything yet?"
"Done anything?" she asked blankly.
"I think we should set up a perimeter," I said. "Then, we can wait for the piercing shriek when it tries to contact its home planet."
"What? Oh, you mean the vase," she said.
"Vase? That's a vase? What do you put in it--redwoods?"
"It is a little bigger than it looked in the store," she said.
"That's because it's growing," I said. "It's a semi-autonomous life form. Based on the rate of change, it should break through the ceiling sometime later tonight."
"At least it was on sale," she said.
"It would be highly prize by certain primitive African tribes as a gigantic nose bone," I said. "Or Japanese businessmen could use it as a capsule hotel."
"I'll find a place for it," Gloria said. "Smart ass."
"If not, I can put pegs on it and we can rent it out as a climbing experience. Just let me know."
Last week, I saw a group of these vases (lending support to my alien pod theory) at Randalls. Today, the vases were still there--marked down to half price.
If they mark them down again, I'm going to buy all of them and make an 'installation' out in West Texas somewhere. Maybe I can rent some space at the Cadillac ranch.
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