Monday, April 25, 2005

Curse You Electronic Arts!

Look at this Sony press release. Sorry, it's long, but believe me, it's worth it:
FOSTER CITY, Calif., April 25 /PRNewswire/ -- Sony Computer Entertainment America Inc. announced today the launch of Road To Sunday, exclusively for the PlayStation®2 computer entertainment system. Built from the ground up, this new franchise incorporates innovative game designs, new Artificial Intelligence (AI) and graphics, a compelling story and a variety of gameplay features. Slated for release in winter 2005, Road To Sunday is poised to present an all-new sports videogame experience that goes beyond the traditional on-field action.

Defining the next evolution in gaming, Road To Sunday presents a unique, sequential, episodic storyline that will provide both sports and entertainment videogame fans with the first ever sports entertainment drama. Blending on- and off-the-field action, Road To Sunday delivers a unique cinematic football experience where gamers must complete various missions, moving from setting to setting and character to character as dictated by the story.

The storyline revolves around Blake Doogan, an affluent sports mogul who inherits a professional football team after his father dies in a suspicious explosion while vacationing in Jamaica. Blake learns his father borrowed large sums of capital from a Jamaican kingpin to purchase a professional team. Doogan's father's debt is now his debt. The gameplay follows the owner, his sidekick Harry and seven football players as they put it all on the line in order to accumulate enough money to pay off the Jamaican kingpin and win the championship.

Players not only compete on the gridiron but also gain exposure to an underworld of questionable characters, gambling, and an underground fighting league run by the corrupt Jamaican kingpin. The players' world off-the-field involves high-stakes fighting tournaments, betting, gambling, and training, all of which increase player attributes for future missions and football games.

The on-the-field experience is best characterized as mission-based football, in which the objective is to both win the game and achieve on-the- field goals related to the team or specific players.

So the "next evolution in gaming" involves BLAKE DOOGAN, Jamaican kingpins, and and underground fighting league. And it's a football game. Wow--it's Grand Theft Football! I have so not been wanting that to happen.

And why does the title of this post mention Electronic Arts in the cursing category? Because this is the kind of crap we're going to see from now on because no one else can make a licensed football game. EA is going to blow snot on a napkin and charge $60 for it, because they can, and everybody else is going to make bizarre football-related games like Road to Sunday, Tailgaters: The Road Trip, and James and the Giant Football.

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