Superheroes
I listened to a segment on "This American Life" about a person who always started conversations with strangers by asking them which superhero power they'd choose: flying or invisibility.I talked to Gloria about it for a while, then went into my study. A few minutes later, she came in.
"I can't believe how hot it is in here," she said.
"Welcome to the thermocline--of fun," I said.
She sat down in my fold-up gaming chair.
"I think I'd like to be a superhero," Gloria said. Gloria is a geek, actually--she's just loathe to admit it.
"I used to," I said. "Twenty years ago. Now, not so much."
"Why not?"
"It's not the same, being a superhero at forty-five," I said.
"Forty-six," she said.
"Thanks for that," I said.
"Maybe so, but it would still be fun to leap over tall buildings."
"Do you realize how long I'd have to stretch before I tried leaping over a tall building?" I asked. "If I just step onto the street and jump, blam--pulled hamstring."
"I hadn't thought about that," she said.
"Plus, if I'm Superman, it's going to be really annoying that I can see through walls but I can't read the small print on a menu at a restaurant."
"So if you could choose your powers, what would you want?" she asked.
"At my age, I don't need flying or super strength. Let's start off with--hmm--visual magnification. I need that all the time."
"Let's say you get four," she said. "What would the other three be?""Number two would be regularity," I said.
"Oh, good grief."
"Then I'd take the power of pigmentation for my gray hair. Plus I'd take the power of hair relocation for all that hair growing in places where it's never grown before."
"I'd want PMS shield and the high metabolism power," Gloria said.
"The only reason I'd want to be a superhero would be for the secret headquarters," I said. "Underground, in a cave, with a hidden entrance. Kind of like my study."
<< Home