Wednesday, February 11, 2009


As some of you know, I have a Facebook account.

Here's what I know about Facebook: nothing. Here's what I want to know about Facebook: nothing. Someone e-mailed me (it was an auto e-mail from Facebook, but I didn't know that at the time) and asked me to be their friend or something, so I made an account.

Now, I get requests from people to be their friends and I okay the requests. But I have no idea what's on my page--I've never even been to my page. And I'm not going, either, because my conception of Facebook is of a junior high girl in her all-pink room working on a scrapbook and talking constantly on her cellphone while she's chewing gum.

So if you do anything besides a friend request and I don't respond, it's not you. I never go look. I'm negative bandwidth as it is, and if I did have a little more time, I wouldn't be using it to look at my Facebook page.

Gloria recently started her own Facebook account (sucked into it the same way I was), and she sent me this today:
Here are the kinds of things that you could do if you were active on Facebook.

Yesterday when I logged in, I had:
--One friend request (from someone I don't recognize but with whom I apparently have two friends in common)
--One Superpoke! invitation (someone baked me a virtual Valentine's cake)
--An invitation to take Dr. Phil's Personality Test
--An invitation to take a "What Rush Song Are You?" quiz
--Three online friends available for chat

The horror.

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