Thursday, August 02, 2012

Chopped, or Something

Eli loves a show on the Food Network called "Chopped." The format of the show is that three chefs make a dish from ingredients that are revealed to them at the start of the contest, and they have thirty minutes to make a dish. It's always completely frantic, and they're always finishing their dishes with seconds to go.

The trick, though, is that the ingredients are often pretty unusual. So they'll start out with something like "Chefs, your ingredients for this round are goat testicles, cotton candy, asparagus, and bubble wrap. You have thirty minutes."

I'm exaggerating, but not by much. Now, a sidebar.

We went out to dinner on Sunday, and Gloria said, "When did it become okay to wear baseball caps in restaurants?"

"I don't know," I said. "1975?"

"It doesn't look right," she said, and I started laughing.

I adopted the tone of the guy in the commercial who asks about posting videos to Facebook. "So, does anybody know when it was okay to start wearing caps in restaurants?"

Ah, hell, that's not funny when it's typed. It was good in the restaurant, though.

Sidebar over.

So we're on the way home, making fun of Chopped, and Eli says he can make a dish out of waffles, bacon, and cotton candy. "So you fold the waffle into a croissant..."

"Wait, how do you fold a waffle into a croissant?" Gloria asked.

"Is it a taco shape?" I asked.

"So that would make it more of... a waco", she said.

"So it's a panaco, but with a waffle," I said.

"Oh my God, you guys," Eli said, laughing. "Just shut up for a minute. So you take the waffle, put bacon inside it, put water on the cotton candy to melt it, then pour it on top."

"I would just skip the bacon," I said. "Just pour the cotton candy on top of the waffle."

"Yeah, your Dad would be done with twenty-nine minutes left," Gloria said.

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