There's a Ten Car Pileup in Turn Two"Oh god, what is this?" Eli 14.4, aimlessly channel surfing, has stumbled onto the Miss Universe Pageant.
"That's like NASCAR," I said. "It's something you only watch for the wrecks."
Watching Miss Universe today is like peering through a telescope into some kind of alien world. I personally find it staggeringly offensive, sort of a beautiful woman zoo, but there's denying the comic entertainment.
We watched the evening gown competition, and there were two wildly entertaining slip-and-slide moments on those massive heels that everyone wears.
It was impossible to sustain interest, though, so we quit watching after a few minutes. In doing so, we missed the real wreck.
In case you missed it, host Steve Harvey announced the wrong winner.
I know. That's impossible. Except it wasn't, and he announced that Miss Colombia had won, when it fact the winner was the woman standing beside her--Miss Phillipines.
If you want to see the absolutely excruciating footage, here it is:
Steve Harvey Announces Wrong Winner Of Miss Universe, Chaos Ensues.