DESPAIR, a Play in Three Acts
Location: the Gardens, indoors.ACT ONE, in which I sit down in the cafeteria to begin working.
After only a few minutes, a piano tuner arrives, tuning a previously unnoticed piano.
A piano in the process of tuning is a goose with infinite pitch. HONK HONK HONK HONK. Raise one step. HONK HONK HONK HONK.
This will continue forever.
ACT TWO, in which there are nineteen empty booths and mine, but two woman immediately sit down in the booth behind me, defying both the mathematical odds and the most basic conventions of urinal etiquette.
ACT THREE, in which the next two people to enter the cafeteria immediately sit down in the booth in front of me, giving the middle finger to two hundred to one odds. Also, one brays.
I consider a clever workaround, and begin searching Amazon using the phrase "police tape."
I stop searching when I realize that if I tape off two booths, everyone will walk up and say "Excuse me, but do you know what happened here?"
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