Tuesday, August 31, 2004

Geek, Overheard

We're in the middle of a software transition at work, and a few people have been brought in to help everyone learn the new system. I hadn't seen these people, since I'm the firm's equivalent of the eccentric uncle that lives under the stairs, but today one stopped by to help the person who sits next to me (hello Jennifer's parents). Jennifer politely asked him how his day was going. He said "Not good. I've already had eleven serious conversations today."

I know what he means. Man, if I have over 6.4 serious conversations a day, I am wrecked.

In the next five minutes, I was unwittingly subjected to a verbal fusillade. This guy was geek scatting. One of the fatal flaws of geekdom is thinking that you have social skills. I'm a geek, to some degree, but I am absolutely sure that I have no social skills. I have no hidden reserve, either, that I can pull out of a lockbox when I pretty up for company. Socially, I don't clean up well.

This guy, though, thought he was charming. Listen, none of us are charming. If we were charming, we wouldn't be geeks.

To get an idea of the sound of this guy's voice, remember Jerry Lewis back when he was doing movies in black and white. If you're too young to remember that, think of Professor John Frink from The Simpson's. Get ready.

Hopefully, 'get ready' really amped up the drama for you. I don't know what for, but it should be ratcheted way up there now.

There were words, and more words, then shouted words, and from my desk, he sounded something like this: blah blah blah THAT'S MY STORY AND I'M STICKING TO IT blah blah blah blah TOMORROW IS GO TIME! blah blah blah CHOW! blah blah blah WHO'S YOUR DADDY?

Those are actual quotes, by the way. If I'd taken literary license, I would have said blah blah blah blah DADDY AIN'T GETTIN' NO LOVIN'! blah blah blah I'VE JUST SOILED MY PANTS!
I'd like to go Studs Terkel and tape this guy, but the place where I work would have a core meltdown if I brought in a recording device. I only hope he's still around tomorrow.

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