Friday, December 17, 2004

Merry Christmas: Now Open Your Pie-Hole

D.Q. reader Jason Cross sent in a Christmas story that he's letting me share with you. Given the ongoing nature of the drama, I hope to turn it into a mini-series.

I work in a pretty standard cube farm sort of place. There is a woman who sits in my row who has taken to providing treats for coworkers. In and of itself, this is not unusual. She started with a candy jar in her cube. Around Halloween she found a smallish table, set it outside her cube, and began to put the candy on that.

Following Halloween, the candy jar became a giant punch bowl filled with her old Halloween candy. Around Thanksgiving, she moved up to a significantly larger table, which now runs the entire length between the entrance to her cube and the one next to it. With the extra space, she now had room for the giant candy bowl, some Thanksgiving decorations, and a big pile of the cookies that she bakes constantly.

Fast forward to today: I come in to work to find that the table now sports the candy, three loaves of banana bread, the ubiquitous cookies, two plates of fudge (nut and non-nut), and a gi-normous coffee machine. This is the kind of appliance that cafeterias have; it has the spot on the bottom for one pot, and an extra heater on top of it all to keep an auxillary pot warm. Around lunchtime today a plate of cold cuts and some bread appeared on it as well.

I fully expect to come back for the New Year to find a full-on deli outside her cube, with waitresses, bakers, and a man in an apron who will slice some meat for you. With any luck I'll be able to make a phone call and have it delivered across the hall, and I'll never need to leave my desk.

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