Landing the Plane
I tried to avoid this, but it's really not possible. From the Washington Post:The Bully is taking a beat-down. Game publisher Take-Two Interactive Software Inc. was ordered to demonstrate an upcoming video game titled "Bully" for a judge to determine whether it violates Florida's public nuisance laws. Miami-Dade Circuit Court Judge Ronald Friedman issued the order yesterday.
The move is a major coup for conservative Miami attorney Jack Thompson, known for his crusades against pornography and obscene rap music, and now the video game industry. He claims that the makers of the game have designed a "Columbine simulator" in Bully, which follows the life of a prep school student as he navigates the social ladders of a fictional school called Bullworth Academy.
..."My view is that the game potentially impinges on public safety," [Thompson] said. "I'm pretty sure that the game is harmful to minors."
Yeah, I know--the stupid wagon is groaning under the weight of its occupants. Is this idiot judges FTW or what? A mall lawyer says that he's "pretty sure" that a game is "harmful" and the judge demands to see the game played? It's a "Columbine simulator" when he hasn't even seen the game? Could this possibly be any thinner or less legitimate? Could somebody please hand Judge Skippy a copy of the Constitution and all the applicable judical precendents?
Look, here's what's going to happen. The judge will rule that there's nothing in the game that warrants an M rating. At least, that's what I believe will happen, and it will happen very quickly.
And really, that's not what's important here.
We all need to prepare for the day that Jack Thompson lands the plane. Sure, he's crashed and burned a hundred times, seemingly, but all he has do is land the plane once.
And he will. He'll find a hick judge who is so lacking in any real knowledge of what he's doing, or a judge who so desperately wants to be a celebrity, that he'll rule in Thompson's favor in one of these pathetic lawsuits.
That decision will get overturned, mockingly, by an appeals court, but no matter--Thompson can ride the coattails of that decision for a decade, at least. It will be in capital letters in every press release he distributes for the rest of his attention-whoring life. We will never be rid of him.
And that's okay.
Seriously--do we want Jack Thomspon, who makes Don Quixote look like Albert Einstein, leading the anti-game hysteria, or do we want someone logical and precise and organized? He discredits his own cause every time he opens his mouth, because it's impossible for him to speak without hyperbole. He's a carnival barker telling you that the girl wearing green leotards is actually The Deadly Frog Woman of the Lost Rainforest, and if you touch her skin, the poison will kill you.
So thanks for driving the sales of Bully through the roof, Jack. Good times.
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