Wednesday, February 06, 2019


"I have a question," I said. I'm unloading the dishwasher, and I'm holding a variety of coffee machine pieces. "Does this thing fit on this thing? And if it does, then how does this thing fit?" 

I should note that I don't drink coffee. 

Gloria laughed. "Okay, the plastic piece fits on the carafe," she said. 

"Thanks," I said. " Now I just need to google 'carafe'." She laughed again. 

"All right, that works, but the mesh dunce cap needs to go somewhere," I said. 

She walked over and opened up the TOP of the coffee machine. "Okay, now my mind is totally blown," I said. "Whoosh." 

Later, she was coming up the stairs. "I have some discrepancies," I said. 

"Go ahead," she said. 

"First, these two spoons are disturbingly larger than the rest, but they seem to go in the same drawer," I said. 

"That is correct," she said. 

"Then there's this small food flinger," I said.

"That's a butter knife," she said. 

"Then there's this stabbie knife," I said. "Everything else in this drawer appears to be for eating food, but this appears to be for killing."

"Not tonight," she said. 

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