Get Your Sugar The F--- Away From Me (thanks very much)
I'm working out at Planet Fitness in the middle of a raging snowstorm. Winter has descended.In the process of riding an exercise bike to absolutely nowhere, a song comes on over the facility-wide speakers. It's "Pour Some Sugar On Me," by Def Leppard.
You know the song, the one with Dylan-esque lyrics like this:
I'm hot, sticky sweet
From my head to my feet, yeah
It's not that this song is bad; it's that it is egregiously bad. The lyrics are what a thirteen-year-old imagines sexy people talk like, and if this was the first song ever played on guitar, the inventor of the instrument would have destroyed it in a fit of rage.
I'm not asking for a curated soundtrack or anything. I don't need Lester Bangs AI to select songs for Planet Fitness. It would just be nice to avoid hearing the worst songs ever recorded.
Looking at you, Foreigner. I don't want any ice, either.
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