Friday, August 05, 2005

Taking Care of Business (Briefly)

While Gloria and Eli 4.0 are gone, it’s my time to write. When they’re gone, I don’t play golf, I don’t go to movies, I don’t do anything. I get up and do my workout, eat, and then I get to work.

All I need is power, baby.

So I get up this morning and do my workout. It’s been raining like Noah’s angry ex-wife for three hours, with the usual apocalyptic lightning strikes that accompany even a sprinkle. Then the power goes out.

I got no power, baby.

We lose power for more than a few minutes once or twice a year. Gloria and Eli 4.0 are gone for approximately four days a year. That’s (roughly ) a 1 in 180 chance AND a 1 in 90 chance both hitting at the same time. If I live to be one hundred years old, that should happen TWICE in my life.

One down, one to go.

I did use the blackout as an opportunity to perform an underwear upgrade. There’s a Ross by where I get breakfast, and I couldn’t do anything at home, so I stopped in. And got lucky. I was able to finally upgrade my entire underwear inventory to “action briefs.”

That’s me. I’m an action brief man. Nothing makes you want to take action like an action brief. And I still had a few inaction briefs to get rid of, so this purchase allowed me to do that. If you ever see me, know that I’m wearing action briefs, and if I’m also holding an action figure, get the hell out of my way. I’ll be so actioned up that I might action right over you.

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